What on earth are John Mayer and Jess Simpson doing? Seriously, why are they spending all this time together? Like, sure he might be gay, whatever, but if he is and he needs a beard, why pair him up with her and not someone more outwardly compatible with him? Is it a bid to dramatically raise his profile? Or increase her street cred? What’s it all about?
He always looks so deeply unhappy and uncomfortable whenever they’re snapped together, but they persist in having these highly public, stagey lunches together at Nobu etc, which kind of indicates he’s not looking that way because he hates being snapped, but that he’s looking that way because he hates being snapped with her. It’s just baffling, all of it. I don’t know what they’re hoping to achieve.
If it’s some sort of attempt to do the whole Fred Astaire-Ginger Rogers thing (“He gave her class, and she gave him sex appeal”), well, I think their publicists have been mightily misguided in their efforts. The converse effect of that kind of hook-up is “He makes her look like a tryhard and she makes him look really naff”.
The alternative explanation is of course that they’re actually having a relationship, which is totally bizarre. I mean, he doesn’t seem SUPER intelligent from my extremely brief interaction with him, but nor does he seem the type to be drawn to baby-talking bimbos like Jessica Simpson. I mean, his blog has been known to be pretty funny and even pretty incisive at times. That thing where he put his own face through the celebrity face-recognition thingy and came up as a higher match with Jessica Lange than himself was good.
Oh, who knows what people find attractive, though. Maybe they’re in love.
